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Rites of Passage

EbonyMommy ©2005

Having a son has really opened my eyes to just how different boys really are. I always assumed that gender roles were primarily a function of how children are socialized- but boy was I surprised that boys do have male tendencies even before anyone tells them what those tendencies are. A vital aspect to being a black male in such a anti-black society is strength in knowledge of oneself through knowing your history and ancestry.

This weekend I had the honor of attending an important event in my family- and seeing the strength of relationships of men in my family for the first time. After reading The Warrior Method I really feel that what is missing in so many aspects of American life is that men have no rites of passage to become men. This is a cultural norm in most places in the world and is such a strengthening and defining process that without it we tend to wind up with more aimless young men who have no idea of who or what they are.

Several men in my family have assigned their own sort of rites of passage to their sons. Watching my uncle and his son who is about to be a senior in high school was very touching. To see the father guiding his son- teaching him detailed aspects about driving, telling him the proper way to act in different situations, but most importantly the way my cousin responded to his father which such intensity and honor. You could see himm striving to be a man with all of his being. It reminded me of both my father’s relationship with my brother as well as the many young men he’s mentored through the years in his role as a minister. Young boys who had been given up on as being unteachable or unsaveable have made a rapid turn around upon having a black man to listen to them, pray with them and provide strength and guidance.

One of the greatest lies that has been repeatedly perpetuataed in our community is that black women don’t need anyone but themselves. Though I love black mothers (I’m one myself) and feel that we are some of the strongest, hard working, most enduring people on the planet- no matter how hard I work, am educated, or endure as a black woman the one thing I can not do is to 100% teach my sons how to be a black man. This makes me worry for the black males in this country because the vast majority have no fathers or positive black male role models in their lives.

We are planning to implement a sort of Warrior Method rites of passage with our own sons. I do have faith that my husband will provide guidance to our boys. But I also know how important it is for our sons as well as any other children we may be blessed to have (or adopt) to know their history and the Warrior Method provides a wealth of resources to guide in the educational process.

You can read more about the implentation of the Warrior Method at the Warrior Institute website.

Back Home

We’re back from our fantastic voyage to Bowling Green, Missouri. Trying to get everyone unpacked and in order so I’ll be back to catch up shortly.

Recipe for a Super Cousin Day

1 very energetic 2 (almost 3) year old
1 bubbly baby boy
2 older cousins (both girls age 7 and 12)

add toys, lots of books and mix for a fun filled giggly day!

I’ve now decided that although I love EBaby to death I no longer need to have any more babies- I instead need to figure out how to birth my own 12 year old girl. This morning everyone got up and she poured out cereal and milk for the younger two. Then everyone fought over who would get to help me vacuum. Fighting over who will get to vacuum? I’ve died and gone to heaven. They clean, they help, they can’t get enough of holding and playing with the baby and did I mention they clean? I love having great cousins.

Here’s one completely happy Ebony Baby with his cute little piggy:
EbonyMommy ©2005

Dragonflies

EbonyMommy ©2005

We volunteer at a local nature preserve and help run a program focused on teaching about nature to young children. The program involves primarily toddlers and we have some older children who are homeschooled- we do a craft, nature story, and are lead on a hike by our favorite Ranger.

This month our topic was dragonflies. We did this great dragonfly craft:
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The Best

Thank you for being the best father my children could ever possibly have. With your love and guidance I know our sons will grow up to be strong spiritual men just like you. You are the best- father and friend I have ever been blessed to know. Happy Father’s Day!

EDad showing EBoy his very first firefly (the white line is a firefly lol :) ):
EbonyMommy ©2005

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