We went for a wonderful excursion to visit the Children’s Museum in Chattanooga - I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love that place its got to be the most interactive amazing place I’ve seen yet and has 3 levels of exhibits, art crafts, and fun- anyways EbonyBoy had a blast.
I didn’t really do it as a traditional birthday party but instead just a field trip with a few of our good friends. Afterwards I just feel incredibly blessed to realize that I actually have friends. Good, supportive friends who not only love me but also love my freespirited sometimes wild (and loud) little boy.
While driving up to the museum J (she’s pregnant with babe #2 and is one of the sweetest natural Mamas I know- I need to write more on her but I was pretty amazed when I moved all the way to Atlanta hoping to connect with more mothers of color and my best bud is a white hippie chick that for all intent and purposes is a southern version of everyone in Seattle)- we have quite a few parallels in our lives and share viewpoints on quite a few things as well. We were discussing how moving as children affected us. I’d never really thought about it before but I can’t say I ever really feared or hated being the new kid. Actually the worst year of my life was my sophmore year of highschool when simultaneously ALL of my closest friends Dads were transferred to different bases. To go from having a nice nucleus of 5 or 6 folks that you share a ton in common with to having no one lead to a very lonely sort of life.
Now I worry about not having friends and not keeping friends. When a former friend backed out of being in my wedding party because I was not spending enough time with her or paying her enough attention (sheesh I was only planning a wedding for 200 people in San Antonio, TX while living in Seattle and only getting to make 1 trip to arrange it all so forgive my slightly busy schedule) it crushed me. You would have though she was my first boyfriend breaking up with me (which never happened since I was forever the one who broke off pretty much ever relationship I ever had) I was so hurt I just cried for days.
Yet again I’m amazed by how much our childhoods can affect how we interact with others as adults. It’s painful to think about but pretty much every best friend I had growing up either moved away or dumped me. My first best friend was Kathy Dill (putting her name here in case she ever finds this through a search engine Hi Kathy!) and we were both crushed when her parents divorced and she had to move to Michigan. Next was Jenni who pretty much dumped me since I wasn’t cool enough while we were entering high school. Finally there was Liz- we had so much in common it was scary. Patterns in our lives were so close together we even were born a few hours apart barely missing sharing a birthday. She chose to be shady concerning some money I lent her and just disappeared from my life altogether.
Thankfully I have had some guy best friends (dh being the main one) who were nothing but true and faithful till the end. But it still doesn’t stop me from worrying that one day my friends will just decide they don’t want to be around me anymore. I try to be as appreciative as possible but I’m sure they have no idea of just how deeply sensitive I am and how I’m affected by friendships.
Having the friends I’ve made here truely makes me cherish this feeling of just knowing I am cared about and appreciated. I know my family loves and cares for me (heck they have no choice) but the friends I’ve made here have adopted me as family and it just makes every day a bit sweeter having people to share these experiences with.