First I’d like to welcome some new readers whom I consider to be near and dear(you all know who you are! Hi ). When I first started this blog I had quite a bit to conquer. Not technologically or logistically but instead dealing with fear.
I’ve known I wanted to blog for the last 5 years or so- but was never sure about just how much thanks to quite a few of the things I shared here. Insteading of fearing what or whom might be out there the reality is my life is mine to share as I please whether others like it or not. Overall my last 12 years of being online have shown me that there are some really wonderful people out there. Perhaps stripping away all of the outer trappings and only being able to deal with people’s words makes it a lot easier to get to know someone (well at least when those words are being spoken in truth).
Another major area of fear that I have got to come to grips with is my weight. Let me admit something that I’ve never admitted before- I’ve never once been able to successfully lose weight. Yes I can lose the same 10 or 15 pounds that I’ve lost time and time again but it doesn’t help when I regain that plus more leaving me even more stressed out.
Weight has always been something emphasized in my life. Not my parents- thankfully they did all they could to try to give me a healthy body image. Ssadly I could never mentally get past the fact that I matured so much earlier than most of the girls in my classes and therefore weighed more. Comparing yourself to others only leads to dissappointment and when it comes to weight I continually beat myself up for not being able to be succesful at weight loss when I can see others who have done fantastic.
Ultimately the weight loss fear is really based on my fear of failure. What if i never succeed? What if no matter how hard I work nothing ever comes off? I need to start trying again and prayerfully with EbonyBoy in school I’ll finally be able to commit to at least getting in the gym again.
Tonite is my first Mom’s night out in quite some time. I belong to a Mom’s group and we get together for an activity and then head to dinner. I really do love the group and have met some awesome Mamas that I have quite a bit in common with. The funniest part of the evening is always the end- seeing how we finally manage to tear ourselves away from chatting and interacting to return to life with children, babies, homework and cleaning. This will actually be my first time attending without EbonyBaby- I’m sure I’ll miss him but can’t wait to have fun.